Chris/Inspector Carter is the director of the play-within-a-play Murder at Haversham Manor and plays the esteemed Inspector Carter. This is the biggest day of his life. He is rigid and uptight. The experience of performing the show is both nerve-wracking and exciting. His pain is evident and every time someone laughs, the pain deepens.

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Robert/Thomas Colleymore wants to be Richard Burton, as evidenced by his presentational style. But he’s not a parody of a bad actor, just unaware of others around him. He does not feel bad when things go wrong and never learns from his mistakes. There’s a power struggle between Robert and Chris to be president of the Cornley Poly Drama Society (a position that matters a great deal to Robert). 

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Dennis/Perkins has no real desire to be involved in the theatre; he just wants friends. He believes if he does well in the show, he’ll be more successful socially. Laughter from the audience is agony and a personal tragedy for him. He’s slightly oblivious, but understands when he gets things wrong. 

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Sandra/Florence Colleymore is vain and has a huge ego. She wants to be loved. She has ambitions to go to Hollywood and will hurt anyone standing in the way of what she wants, but is smart enough to stay on the good side of someone who can help her (like the director). The stakes are high for her. Very physical role. 

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Jonathan/Charles Haversham is a bit bland personality-wise but sees himself as a James Bond-type. Excited and having fun. He technically has to drive the show. He cares about the play, but it’s mostly just for fun for him. The role of Charles Haversham is a very physically demanding role. 

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Max/Cecil Haversham/Arthur has never been onstage before. He learned his lines and does exactly what he’s told to do. He has zero connection with any of the actors, but when he gets a laugh he breaks the fourth wall and engages with the audience. Childlike and naïve. His mistakes are fundamental. He doesn’t think anything through. 

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Annie is the company’s stage manager with a Lancashire accent. She has the biggest journey of any character. She’s initially terrified by acting, but is willing to kill for it by the end of the play. Her terror turns to joy, and then to fury. She starts small, but grows and grows. 

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Trevor is the play’s curmudgeonly lighting and sound operator. He simply wants to get on with the show. He doesn’t like actors. He is easily distracted and does many things he shouldn’t, including talking to the audience. When things go really sideways, he is forced to act in the play.

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Stage Crew, the Cornley Polytechnic stage crew